I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
