Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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