I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
