You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
