Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
