dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
