(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
