I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Do vagina's smell?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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