someone owes me an orgasm
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
