i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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