doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
