I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
