my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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