4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
