stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
