if you like me you must not know who I am
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
