I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
