Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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