I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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