No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
