He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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