1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I want a musical about memes.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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