She just used a chaser for red wine.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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