Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
