I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
