1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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