i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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