Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
