Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
don't judge my taste in strippers
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize