I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
