Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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