She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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