I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
