2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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