Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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