youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
