I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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