I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
