just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
it glows. i had to have it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
soo... how was my night?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
