i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
