I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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