He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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