CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
