David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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