Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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