How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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