And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
