just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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