I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
