During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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