he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
